Thursday, December 30, 2010

It Is What It Is: New Year

It Is What It Is: New Year: "Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past........Isaiah 43:18 Looking forward to the new year- I tend to reflect on that which I wi..."

New Year

Forget the former things, do not dwell on the past........Isaiah 43:18
Looking forward to the new year- I tend to reflect on that which I wish to change, or fix, or straighten out.  It's a popular trend in society to throw away the old- start afresh- resolve to do that which we've been meaning to do all year.  Unfortunately, by mid -February, a lot of resolutions go out the window, and you wind up being in the same old rut you were in before.
Self improvement is not something to resolve to do- its a process that takes a certain amount of time.  Situation improvement can happen a lot quicker because most times, if you cut out the fat, you can get to the root of an issue rather quickly and find a resolution.
I would like to resolve the verse Isaiah put out there- Forget the former things- we cannot change what happened- it happened and there is nothing to do about it.  Do not dwell on the past- And  since we cannot change it, we have to move on.......the hurt will heal, and life goes on. 
A new year- a new decade- new opportunities, new days that we have never ever seen before-a whole new thing awaits us in less than 40 hours . 
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, November 26, 2010

I AM RESTORED............

When you say goodbye to a relationship it hurts.  It is in that moment that you face the reality that life as you have known it for however long will change- that is, if you valued the relationship.  Some relationships end and you may say "Good Riddance" "Get Ta Steppin"- "Be Gone", "Please don't come back".  And then there are some that you just feel like your whole world is shattered, "How could they do that to you", "Maybe you can try again", "I Will never feel this way again". 

I have been on both sides of this coin and either way, the bottom line is that, your relationship is over and on a certain level there is a sense of melancholy, slight indifference, a glimmer of sadness.  The upside is something I remember my Bishop saying,  "Your destiny is not tied to anyone who has left you."  This is a true statement.  We all have our paths to follow and sometimes where there are 2 people on the same path, they separate due to difference of opinion on which way to go.  It's just life, the title of this blogpage; "It Is What It Is".

Today I am encouraged.  I took a long look in the mirror this morning and I just fell in love all over again with Mee.  I reflect on that which I know I can change, and I am letting go of that which I have no control .  I must say I feel real good.  Where there was a block, I feel a flow;  and despite my apparent loss, I have gained something so much greater.  A Renewed mind, and Encouraged Heart, and Greater Faith.

I AM RESTORED.........................

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Letting Go..................

When you lose something- if it had sentimental value attached to it then it might upset you to lose it.  You may look for it extensively- inquiry around to see if anyone has seen it- you may even go as far as posting your lost item on a poster all over your city in hopes that someone would find your lost item and return it to you.  When you lose a person friend or family- if the loss is in the case of death- then you are sad- you cry- you wish the person didn't have to die- you may even take a certain amount of time to step away from your normal activity to grieve.  If the loss is because you or the person walked out of your life then the same may occur along with anger and anything associated with anger- or you just might be happy that person is gone.  Whatever it is- Ultimately you have to Let GO

For whatever reason, people get attached to people or things and then find it hard to separate themselves from that thing or person.  What happens is a certain dependency develops and in the process of holding on to this thing or person, you lose yourself.  Your identity has now become associated with this thing or person.  Your actions and attitudes are affected by this thing or person and you are now invisible. 

For some, Letting go is easy.  They can recognize it aint good and cut it off at the knees and keep it moving.  Then for others, Letting go is the hardest thing.  They hold on to people and things way too long.  The dresser is dead- it don't have no handles on it- get rid of it- those shoes haven't been worn in 3 years- get rid of them- that coat is too tight- get rid of it-  People do relationships the same way- they stay in them too long- if it don't work anymore- end it- if you argue all the time-end it- if it gets physical- it's over-

I have been guilty of this on both ends- I have way too much stuff and I hold on to relationships way too long.  Today I am taking a stand and moving forward.  I am cleaning out my closet, my storage, my frendlists, as well as my heart and my mind-

I am Letting Go.......................

Friday, October 29, 2010

Love Is What Love Does............

My Pastor often says "Love Is What Love Does".....and, while it seems pretty simple, it made Mee wonder about Love and "What It Do".  People may say that there are different kinds of Love- like the Love you have for a friend, wouldn't be the same kind of Love you would have for your Mother, Father, Sister or Brother- and It wouldn't be the same kind of Love that you would have for your significant other.  To mee, all of that is emotion- the automatic feelings you have for your family- since you've known them, you've Loved them.  For your friends or significant other it was - once you got to know them you Loved them.  And for everybody included in the pronouns I just mentioned, you say "I Love You" and some point or another.

The Bible has another take on Love.  In Corinthians Chapter 13 (this is often referred to as the LOVE Chapter) It says Love suffereth Long and is Kind, Love envies not, Is Not Puffed Up, Does Not behave itself unseemingly, seeketh not it's own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in truth- Love bears all things, believes all things, hopeth all things and endureth all things- LOVE NEVER FAILS, and it ends with saying that Faith Hope and Love abides but the greatest of these is LOVE.  That's an amended version but please read it in it's entirety.  This was my grandfathers favorite scripture because it tells you from the beginning- you can do signs and wonders, be GREAT, but if you don't have LOVE, you are nothing.  It says you can give to the poor, feed the hungry, even give your body as a sacrifice, but without LOVE it profits you nothing.

I am careful with this word.  I find people often misuse it- says it too much, abuse it, uses it as a salutation- and even though I have been guilty of it's misuse, I think about this enough that  I am definitely working on Mee.  But the reason I am writing this is to ask you who are reading this- Do you LOVE? do you really LOVE? Do you give Love? Do YOU show Love? In your actions, in your thoughts, in your speech, in your silence, are you LOVING?

What's the difference between LOVE and IN LOVE? and in being IN LOVE do you remain IN LOVE or just fade to LOVE ONLY?   I'm just asking- I am certainly no authority on the subject as I have quite a few failed relationships and friendships.  However many that didn't work - I now find that it is quite possible to ALWAYS LOVE and ALWAYS BE IN LOVE- especially if GOD is the head of your life.  The Greatest LOVE STORY ever told is John 3:16 says that GOD SO LOVED the WORLD he gave his ONLY BEGOTTEN SON, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish but have everlasting life.
All in one verse we have the Greatest Being- GOD- the Greatest Feeling- SO LOVED - the Greatest  Object-The World- the Greatest Sacrifice- He Gave His ONLY SON - The Greatest Promise- That Whosoever believeth in him should not perish- then the Greatest Gift- but have Everlasting Life.   Now this, is LOVE, undeniable, and true- LOVE.

I know we as humans cannot Love on this level or anything even close to it.  But I also know that we are fully capable of achieving some Good LOVE if we are honest with ourselves and then honest with the person we are loving.

I began writing this with a different emotion.  As I revisit for editing I realize my mind and my heart is in a different place.  I still feel the same way- but I have a different perspective.  Love is What Love Does. If there is a red flag- it's not a flag of Love it's a flag of caution.  Let's be honest folks!!! If they verbally abuse you, beat you, merely tolerate you, they don't LOVE you.

Monday, October 18, 2010

GOD is in CONTROL..............

Something just came over Mee and I will express it here because this is the forum for it.  In life, you get situations and circumstances and how you deal with it determines your level of faith.  Job who was the richest man besides Solomon, had the equivalent to 7 Billion Dollars (this includes his houses, land, cattle, oxen, and everything else), he lost it all in 7 hours.  I am truly amazed by this because everyday- we being human and of this time lose jobs, houses, gigs, boyfriends, husbands, wives, girlfriends etc- and we give up.  We feel sorry, have pity parties, go into seclusion and so forth.  Then we do the one thing we shouldn't do, we question GOD.  And GOD says"Why Not You?" if you read the good book, The Bible, GOD turned Job over to the devil and said "He's in your hand just don't kill him".  Yes, GOD used Job to accomplish his will and purpose, but he also was testing Job who did not know that he was apart of the Chess Game.  "Have you considered my servant Job?".  The devil was like "sure, he serves you look at all he has, but I bet if you did this, or that, he'd curse you and die".  God said (in my words) Go ahead and do it, just don't kill him, he'll make Me proud.  First he took all his substance, then he attacked his body- smote him with boils from the sole of his feet to his head, then he attacked his mind.  In all of this however- Job did not curse GOD- even when his wife said "Curse GOD and die" he told her she was foolish, and held strong to his integrity.This morning I was awakened by my own discomfort.  I was not feeling happy, or loved.  I feel at a loss for certain things. I am petitioning GOD for other things that haven't come through yet.  My finances are at an all time low, and I began feeling like "maybe I need to do something else","maybe I need to change careers", "maybe GOD has forgotten Mee".  Then I remembered the lesson- "What will you do with what's Left?"  I had so much before and I lost it.  I can blame the enemy all day but the truth is GOD allowed this to happen to Mee to teach Mee a valuable lesson.  One that  I must adhere to and really learn from so that this time, rather than get a C, I can come out with an A. 
So I'm going to wait on GOD.  I'm going to hold on to my faith and believe what he promised Mee- and I am going to continue to pursue that which GOD has given Mee to pursue.  I thank GOD that my pity party lasted all but 5 minutes.  Now it's time to get up and hit the pavement knowing GOD is in control and he is going to work this out concerning Mee. 

Sunday, October 10, 2010

A Journey toward Progress.......................

When people rant about something, it´s usually due to a happenstance that really rubbed them the wrong way, or to put it plainly "pissed them off".  In life I have learned that the occassional "rant" might sometimes be proven to be a great release of tension, however, depending on the size of the "rant", who gets it and how they get it, that "rant" may be detrimental to the health of each person.  Because sometimes, a "rant" can explode to out right rage. 

As I sit here today feeling the need to "rant" about a particular situation, I have to wonder if in the end, it will prove profitable to Mee.  The truth is my "rant" is already a simmering tea kettle, and at any moment, if I dwell on the very thought of it, my whistle will no doubt blow.

Taking the time to consider the end results makes Mee question why I even bother to have these feelings at all.  I do realize that I may be the only one affected and ultimately, at the end of the day, no matter how hard the pill is to swallow, a drink of water and maybe even a piece of bread will help it go down.

Life sometimes hands us big pills to swallow and we have to take it.  We can crush it, let it dissolve in the water and drink it, or we can take it and wash it down with water and a piece of bread if it´s really big- either way, it is what it is.  It will go down and your choice is either to learn a lesson, or "rant". (This is inclusive of jumping up and down, cursing someone out,  pounding your fists into somebodys face and the like).

Once you choose to learn a lesson though, that is the time to grow. Really pay attention to the bigger picture,  I know for certain I will never do THAT again.  And I won´t forget how to avoid making the same mistake.  I found a way out of my "rant".  Thank GOD!!!!
That to Mee is AMAZING................I am progressing!!!!............................

Thursday, September 23, 2010


Eventually I knew that a sore subject would come up and I'd write about it and many will agree, disagree, agree to disagree or will just not say anything at all; but, as I watched the report about Bishop Eddie Long, I knew my hour had arrived.

The Catholic Church concealed this practice for centuries.  Now with the mind of rememberance as men now begin to come forth to express how they were abused, scandals are dismantling parishes all around the world.  And now the Black church membership has awakened and decided to participate.

As a minister, I find it upsetting that Men and Women of GOD abuse certain people through sexual practices, and or games.  I find it insulting to GOD to wear a collar and proclaim to Thousands, even Millions how the Power of God will transform your lives but they themselves live as those whom they proclaim are lost.

In my search for the truth, I read many books and always use the Bible as my guide toward what is the higher truth.  I look at the many people God used to deliver his words and instructions for life.  It seems as though God's words and instructions for life were always given by these less than stellar perfect men.  All of them had something which caused them to be successful at one point, then fall at the next. Abraham lied a few times to get to where he needed to be.  Jacob the trickster, Moses the Stuttering Murderer, David  the Murdering Womanizer, Solomon the Wise Womanizer, Jonah the Rebel, and Jeremiah the Weeper.  Then you got Jesus' boys, Peter the denying fighter, and Paul the killer of Chirstians who converted but found it very difficult to stop doing certain things.  These Men had some serious issues!!! Yet we read them faithfully, tell our children about them, preach in church their stories and how to apply the lessons from their lives to ours and in our minds, they are saints- higher than we, some of us even want to be like them.  I mean really, who doesn't want to be visited by GOD? Who doesn't want  to be considered GOD's friend? Who doesn't want Wealth and Prosperity?  In in the same token, there is a price to pay.  We see their seeds but not their struggles, or we just choose to ignore them.

Are the young men that came forward disgruntled former employees? Are they victims of circumstances? if they were still receiving the pleasures, would they have sang their songs of scandal? Is the higher demographic so threatened by our Black Leaders that once they reach a certain level and they decide it's too much, then it s time to remove them from what they've established?  Has our Black Leaders become so natural minded that they can't see whats really going on because they are blinded by the Pomp and Circumstance? These are questions of which I need answers but I know I will never get them.  Some are reading this now wondering what I am even talking about it, or why I even choose to discuss it.

As long as there have been sin, there has been perversion.  It's disgusting!!!!! Woe unto you who do not repent!!!! Be GODLY SORRY, don't be a REPEAT OFFENDER, TURN AWAY FROM SIN.  As Easy as it is to put out there, mans nature is to sin.  We were born and shaped in iniquity, GOD HELP US!!!!!

I've heard stories about preachers that would make you gag!!! Sad, but true.  But ALL HAVE SINNED and FELL SHORT OF THE GLORY OF GOD.    Have I listened to them preach after I heard it? sure.  Did I receive a Word from the Lord as they preached it? sure.  In that instance GOD's Will was accomplished!!!!  What am I saying?   I am saying that we as humans need to change our focus.  Focus not on man but GOD in THE MAN.  If you can recognize GOD in a man then his message becomes clear. Not man's message, GOD's Message.   The men and women who are leaders in the church need to do the same, focus on GOD. What is God's Will?  Is it GOd's will for me to have a Private Jet, or a Bentley? Are these the desires of my heart or the desires of what I think I should emulate because when I don't have on my collar I resemble a rapper, not my Father in Heaven.   What does GOD have for Me to give to his people, whom can I serve today?  How can I make a difference and be different?

I feel bad for the people of GOD who are confused by all the information out there today. I feel bad for those who search out information to expose people - be them pastors, presidents, congressmen, rappers, senators, or the average man- pull back your own covers and reveal your truth.   Why? because the mind is focused on the wrong things.  Pray for our leaders, pray for the Body of Chirst. Pray for yourselves, and clean your own closets.  For the hour has come when the Father is seeking those who will worship him in Spirit and in Truth, that's it

Saturday, September 18, 2010


This is dedicated to my Late Brother Schon Jomel................

Here I am, All Alone
No One to talk to
No One to be with,
It´s like I´m a bird,
Sitting on top of a tree
Hoping, that someone will come
And share some seeds,
But no one comes,
And I am still
All Alone..................

By Langston Crawford.........................

I know, the scholars are like ¨"Who´s Langston Crawford? I´ve never heard of him!" And it´s true, you´ve never!!!! This is a poem that I believe came about because my brother decided to pay homage to my gift as a poet so he came up with this one day as we keyed keed about anything.  As I sit here in Ibiza, I know for a fact that right about now, I would have called him to recite this because of the way I feel.  But the thought here right now, is enough for mee to not feel so alone.  I wish my brother was here in this realm, but I do feel him.  I feel his spirit.  I wish I could talk to him right now, I have so many questions that I need answers to!!! And he wouldn´t answer them for Mee, but he would give Mee his honest opinion about what he thought, based on his love for Mee...........What more could a sister want?

I miss you Brother!!! You are always in my heart, thank you for all the days that you did pick up the phone and recite this with Mee................

I will Always Love You.................

Thursday, September 16, 2010


Ok, so I was hearing all the reports about the airline industry and all the different changes that´s going on, but clearly wasn´t affected because I wasn´t traveling at the time.  Then I came to IBIZA!!!! First of all I thought it was only IBERIA AIRLINES, who by the way, is the absolute worse!!! I was reading and the flight attendant actually came and shut off my light, without asking first.  Not to mention that the food was horrible!!!  They only allow you to check in 1 bag per person, no matter where you´re going.  So here I am leaving the country for a month and I just don´t know what woman travels with 1 bag for a month.  There is the exception of DESTINY´S CHILD who in 2002 told Mee and Jessica that they carry with them 1 bag each everywhere they go- but I might want to point out to you that, they were meeting stylists everywhere they went so the need to lug around anything wasn´t theirs.  But here I am, going to IBIZA for a month and not only do IBERIA expect mee to carry 1 bag, but so does every other airline that flies the skies to and fro.  I have a serious problem with this because I believe that the racket is beating up on the average citizen.  Bad enough we pay taxes before we see our money, now we have to pay to take what we need where we´re going.  And when you´re leaving New York- the TSA will scan your stuff and let you through provided there´s no drugs or guns or bombs- but getting to another country and they take my hair gel and toothpaste!!!!!!!????? I´m having issue with this!!!! What do the people do with the stuff they take from people- especially the brand new stuff like my gel that was never opened!?
I said I thought it was only IBERIA because I had such a problem!!! My first flight left an hour and a half late, and I missed my connection, then the connecting flight they put mee on was delayed 5 hours!!!!  I wish I could just take a train or boat back home!!!!
I believe the airline industry needs to get a grip! if I´m paying 1000 dollars to go somewhere, why are they still charging 60 for a bag- and further more- shouldn´t the amount of luggage you take be determined by the length of your trip? I told IBERIA, "Chile, I´m a DIVA, WHAT DIVA YOU KNOW HAS 1 BAG TO GO OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR A MONTH!!!!"
But then I remembered Destiny´s Child.......................................Can You Pay My Bills!!!!.....................

Monday, August 30, 2010

Silent Thoughts...........

They exist on the left and the right
appearing all through the night,
as I lay mee down to sleep, praying
to GOD I keep saying give peace
to my mind.  Leave all the negative
from the day behind-
Never to repeat again.
But yet and still, the pain I feel from
each and every untold thought-
how I fought to stay alive, or how I
overcame the oppression of a guy,
or a girl who meant to do mee harm
though they befriended mee through charm'
Thoughts of woulda, shoulda, coulda, and how
to change, arrange,rearrange my now-
All unspoken, but I'm choking on my words,
Nobody heard Mee- my pleas- on my knees
I pray hard- MY GOD MY GOD!!!
The Silent Thoughts that fill my mind, I now
leave behind in yesterday...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Do They Ever Really Fade Away?

Today is the 9th Anniversary of Aaliyah's tragic death.  I was on tour when I heard the news- all of our 2-way pagers started going off with the message.  I remember we all didn't think it was real, but then the news confirmed it. 

I remember Aaliyah, she was talented, funny, bright, and a lot of fun.  She was fully committed to her career but she never acted like she was above anyone.  She was really down to earth.  I cried that day as if I had lost my friend. 

That makes mee think about the other people I've lost as well.  After reading Missy Elliotts thoughts I realized that I too am still mourning my loved ones.  My Boyfriend (1990), My Grandfather(1992), My Uncle (1996), My Grandmother(1999), and My Uncle(2008), My Brother(2009)- I still cry sometimes as if the loss happened yesterday. 

Day to day it gets easier to not cry but then there are those days when I am just flooded with memories and emotion and I just let the tears flow.  I don't think the pain ever truly fades, and I believe the people live on through the memories.  Every time I have a memory moment, they come alive in my mind.  I can close my eyes and see them and it is as if I am there in that moment I remember.

They never really fade, they just go somewhere else....................................

Monday, August 23, 2010

It's Like A Jungle Sometimes................

I wonder why people are often referred to as animals, then I look at the actions and I understand.  Men basically resemble dogs, lions, bears, and snakes, while Women often resemble cats, cheetahs, birds, and fish.  And then they both sometimes share a resemblence to the Wolves in Sheeps' Clothing. 

We need to be human!!! Treat each other as fellow human beings not animals.  It's not cool to be a "dog" or a "snake".  While a Lion, being the "King of The Jungle" is fierce, he lays around and waits for the Lioness to get his food, and Bears fish and eat.  The Cat is sneaky, birds are flighty, cheetahs are fast, you can't catch them,  and fish in a wrong setting smells.  The Wolf in sheeps clothing is most hurtful because it looks like what it ain't.

"People, make the World go Round...........It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes mee wonder how I keep from going under.................................... "

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Where HE Leads Mee.............

The Voice of GOD is so unique because it's unlike any voice we've ever heard, yet, for those of us that are in relationship with our HEAVENLY FATHER, we recognize it.  If we question whether or not we are hearing his voice, it's usually because we are out of sync, or out of his will so the enemy makes us doubt our FATHERS voice to the point of disobedience.

Being Faithful and Loyal is always on my mind.  If I leave, what's going to happen to all I got going on here.  And TRUST mee, I got a lot going on.  But GOD doesn't make mistakes, and if I come back and everything I had before I left is lost, then I was just holding it for a time.  Proverbs says that The Blessings of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow to it.  Since that is the case because I do believe GOD's word is true, then I must go where he leads Mee.  Especially since right now, at this moment, the Book of Proverbs and my life are not lining up- I am experiencing Sorrow on a lot of "Fronts"

The "Unknown" is scary but I embrace the challenge.  I must TRUST GOD.  Where He Leads Mee, I Will Follow, I'll Go With HIM, ALL THE WAY..........................

Going, Going, Gone............

When you gotta go, you gotta go.  It may be for business, relaxation, work, adventure- but if you're going, be gone.  I hate when people wear out they're welcome, and I definitely don't want to be told......"Uh, it's time for you to go".  I believe it's all in being mindful and for some reason, people are just not mindful.

 I am looking forward to a bit of travel next month and I can't wait to see new things on the other side of the world.  Life is certainly not all about BROOKLYN, or LONG ISLAND, and it certainly doesn't only revolve around mee, you(my reader), or any one else for that matter.  We leave, and there is someone else to fill our vacancies- when we return, sometimes those spots are returned back to us, and sometimes they are not. 

 I am going, but in 3 weeks, I will be GONE

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Stars........................

I look in the sky and the stars are too many to count.  There is no way to number them, in fact- not only can you not number them, they are too hot to touch.  Human Beings are not Stars, we are Human- we touch, we feel, we smell, we taste, we talk, some of us listen, but we are not stars.

I wish I could go back to a time when people didnt wear Sunglasses in Church, and the people did because they were asked, not because of who is in the audience, or the fact that they are being filmed for TV.  It's a sad state of affairs today.

Twinkle Twinkle LITTLE star, how I wonder WHAT you are...............................

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Free Your Mind and The Rest Will Follow

This statement rings so true to Mee.  FREE YOUR MIND AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW.  The first attack of the "enemy" is in the mind.  We get so caught up on our emotions that we find ourselves doing things we would have never done before.  It's sad that a relationship or friendship can end and because 1 of the people involved can't deal with the rejection or realization that that particular situation is dead, they turn around and kill the rejector, or themselves, or even attempt to do so.  Speaking from a personal standpoint, I find it impossible to let go of LOVE.  Even in LOVING from a distance, I find myself still connected.  The more I pray however, I am back at this trend of thought- FREE YOUR MIND- change focus-do that which excites your insides and go for it.  Eventually everything will fall into place.  Especially if you can't change the immediate situation- just resolve to move forward.............eventually, things will get better, just believe it will and it will................