Monday, August 30, 2010

Silent Thoughts...........

They exist on the left and the right
appearing all through the night,
as I lay mee down to sleep, praying
to GOD I keep saying give peace
to my mind.  Leave all the negative
from the day behind-
Never to repeat again.
But yet and still, the pain I feel from
each and every untold thought-
how I fought to stay alive, or how I
overcame the oppression of a guy,
or a girl who meant to do mee harm
though they befriended mee through charm'
Thoughts of woulda, shoulda, coulda, and how
to change, arrange,rearrange my now-
All unspoken, but I'm choking on my words,
Nobody heard Mee- my pleas- on my knees
I pray hard- MY GOD MY GOD!!!
The Silent Thoughts that fill my mind, I now
leave behind in yesterday...

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Do They Ever Really Fade Away?

Today is the 9th Anniversary of Aaliyah's tragic death.  I was on tour when I heard the news- all of our 2-way pagers started going off with the message.  I remember we all didn't think it was real, but then the news confirmed it. 

I remember Aaliyah, she was talented, funny, bright, and a lot of fun.  She was fully committed to her career but she never acted like she was above anyone.  She was really down to earth.  I cried that day as if I had lost my friend. 

That makes mee think about the other people I've lost as well.  After reading Missy Elliotts thoughts I realized that I too am still mourning my loved ones.  My Boyfriend (1990), My Grandfather(1992), My Uncle (1996), My Grandmother(1999), and My Uncle(2008), My Brother(2009)- I still cry sometimes as if the loss happened yesterday. 

Day to day it gets easier to not cry but then there are those days when I am just flooded with memories and emotion and I just let the tears flow.  I don't think the pain ever truly fades, and I believe the people live on through the memories.  Every time I have a memory moment, they come alive in my mind.  I can close my eyes and see them and it is as if I am there in that moment I remember.

They never really fade, they just go somewhere else....................................

Monday, August 23, 2010

It's Like A Jungle Sometimes................

I wonder why people are often referred to as animals, then I look at the actions and I understand.  Men basically resemble dogs, lions, bears, and snakes, while Women often resemble cats, cheetahs, birds, and fish.  And then they both sometimes share a resemblence to the Wolves in Sheeps' Clothing. 

We need to be human!!! Treat each other as fellow human beings not animals.  It's not cool to be a "dog" or a "snake".  While a Lion, being the "King of The Jungle" is fierce, he lays around and waits for the Lioness to get his food, and Bears fish and eat.  The Cat is sneaky, birds are flighty, cheetahs are fast, you can't catch them,  and fish in a wrong setting smells.  The Wolf in sheeps clothing is most hurtful because it looks like what it ain't.

"People, make the World go Round...........It's like a jungle sometimes, it makes mee wonder how I keep from going under.................................... "

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Where HE Leads Mee.............

The Voice of GOD is so unique because it's unlike any voice we've ever heard, yet, for those of us that are in relationship with our HEAVENLY FATHER, we recognize it.  If we question whether or not we are hearing his voice, it's usually because we are out of sync, or out of his will so the enemy makes us doubt our FATHERS voice to the point of disobedience.

Being Faithful and Loyal is always on my mind.  If I leave, what's going to happen to all I got going on here.  And TRUST mee, I got a lot going on.  But GOD doesn't make mistakes, and if I come back and everything I had before I left is lost, then I was just holding it for a time.  Proverbs says that The Blessings of the Lord maketh rich and addeth no sorrow to it.  Since that is the case because I do believe GOD's word is true, then I must go where he leads Mee.  Especially since right now, at this moment, the Book of Proverbs and my life are not lining up- I am experiencing Sorrow on a lot of "Fronts"

The "Unknown" is scary but I embrace the challenge.  I must TRUST GOD.  Where He Leads Mee, I Will Follow, I'll Go With HIM, ALL THE WAY..........................

Going, Going, Gone............

When you gotta go, you gotta go.  It may be for business, relaxation, work, adventure- but if you're going, be gone.  I hate when people wear out they're welcome, and I definitely don't want to be told......"Uh, it's time for you to go".  I believe it's all in being mindful and for some reason, people are just not mindful.

 I am looking forward to a bit of travel next month and I can't wait to see new things on the other side of the world.  Life is certainly not all about BROOKLYN, or LONG ISLAND, and it certainly doesn't only revolve around mee, you(my reader), or any one else for that matter.  We leave, and there is someone else to fill our vacancies- when we return, sometimes those spots are returned back to us, and sometimes they are not. 

 I am going, but in 3 weeks, I will be GONE

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Stars........................

I look in the sky and the stars are too many to count.  There is no way to number them, in fact- not only can you not number them, they are too hot to touch.  Human Beings are not Stars, we are Human- we touch, we feel, we smell, we taste, we talk, some of us listen, but we are not stars.

I wish I could go back to a time when people didnt wear Sunglasses in Church, and the people did because they were asked, not because of who is in the audience, or the fact that they are being filmed for TV.  It's a sad state of affairs today.

Twinkle Twinkle LITTLE star, how I wonder WHAT you are...............................

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Free Your Mind and The Rest Will Follow

This statement rings so true to Mee.  FREE YOUR MIND AND THE REST WILL FOLLOW.  The first attack of the "enemy" is in the mind.  We get so caught up on our emotions that we find ourselves doing things we would have never done before.  It's sad that a relationship or friendship can end and because 1 of the people involved can't deal with the rejection or realization that that particular situation is dead, they turn around and kill the rejector, or themselves, or even attempt to do so.  Speaking from a personal standpoint, I find it impossible to let go of LOVE.  Even in LOVING from a distance, I find myself still connected.  The more I pray however, I am back at this trend of thought- FREE YOUR MIND- change focus-do that which excites your insides and go for it.  Eventually everything will fall into place.  Especially if you can't change the immediate situation- just resolve to move forward.............eventually, things will get better, just believe it will and it will................