Remembering 9/11

10 years ago our world as we knew it changed forever.  The Mighty Twin Towers fell as a result of a terrorist attack in New York City.  The questions has been pouring in as to "Where were you 10 years ago" and I just couldn't summarize it in 140 characters or less.
I was in Washington D.C. at The Mayflower Hotel on Constitution Avenue.  I had been touring with then new artist Alicia Keys, we were opening up for Maxwell but excited because she was getting ready to begin her own headliner tour.  I was in bed when at 8 something in the morning I opened my eyes to view the Television Program that showed the first tower burning at the top.  It didn't register at first.  I thought it was a movie that I had never seen.  Then I realized that what I was watching was CNN and that this was LIVE-I awakened my roommate and we began to reason how they could put the fire out and maybe things would be ok- until we noticed people hanging out of the window and then jumping to their deaths. Then we noticed a plane flying behind the towers rather close and wondered out loud why that plane was so close and then the plane made a complete U turn into the middle of the 2nd Tower.  Both of us Screamed in Horror.  We watched intently for the next minutes as both towers came crumbling down.  Immediately we were trying to call home but no calls were going through at all.  As we began to call around to our other tour mates, our Road Manager called a meeting.  Apparently, we, The United States was under Attack, and The Pentagon had been hit as well, and another plane crashed close to Pittsburgh.  The Pentagon was 5 minutes from our hotel and they were evacuating it and bring everyone from there to where we were and we were on lockdown for the next 8 hours.  No one except Secret Service could come in or go out.  We were all terrified.  For ourselves because we were in Washington with the government so I felt like we were sitting targets, and terrified for Alicia because we had 3 days off and she was in New York.  We stayed at the Mayflower Hotel for the next 2 days, our shows in D.C. were cancelled and all I knew then was that I did not want to be in the middle of a war, or caught up in a bomb situation that I couldn't get out of, or on an airplane.  From that moment on every Arab was suspect, and every Muslim was a potential threat, and that was sad too considering that my Dad is Muslim and I knew he would never support terrorism-however is he a fan of the Government? Absolutely not.
We finished the US tour and began the first leg of Alicia's World Tour.  Just 3 weeks after 9/11 we were on a plane flying all over , first the US, then Europe, every other day.  I was so afraid.  Every time we boarded a plane I'd get in my Window Seat, hide my face, and cry.  I did this every single time until I was on my way from San Francisco to L.A., to then catch a plane from L.A. to Germany.
A man interrupted my moment and said "Excuse Me, is anyone sitting here?" - I was so mad at him because no one was there- the plane was about to take off and I just thought it was a stupid question- didn't he see Mee looking like I didn't want to be bothered? couldn't he tell?? and why did he have to sit next to Mee, weren't there any other seats on that almost empty flight??? And I wished he would wipe that smile off his face!!!!  So I kind of waved him off like "You can sit there but don't talk to Mee, Im over here praying that we don't crash n burn".  I could not in this moment stop crying, so after about 5 minutes, the man says "Excuse Me, if you don't mind Me asking, What's Wrong?"  I said, "Sir, I really don't feel like talking, I am so scared that we are going to crash or something is going to happen- I am tired of flying, we've been on planes since 9/11 and we are just getting started and I can't take it anymore, I just want off this plane".  So he said "well, this plane is not going to crash and I know it's not"- I said "Why?" he said "Because I'm on it, and that's is not my destiny to perish in a plane crash" Then he asked Mee my name and we began to talk.  This man was a Pastor from a church in Compton California and he was flying home so he could be in church that Sunday. I told him I was a PK and I should have a better level of faith but  I didn't.  So he pulls out his Bible and asks Mee to read the passage of scripture he was pointing to- Psalms 91- I began to silently read but he told Mee to read it out loud- As I read the first verse I became overwhelmed with emotion- He That Dwelleth in the Secret Place of the Most High Shall Abide under the Shadow of the Almighty.  He told Mee that if I rest in the Word of God he will take my fears away.  He told Mee that every time I get on the plane to read this passage of scripture and he promised Mee that I will begin to feel better if I believe.  From that day on, I read this scripture every time I get on a plane and before we leave the ground I am sound asleep.  I wish I would have gotten that Pastor's number because I would have loved to visit his church to testify as to how he helped Mee.
Everywhere we went in Europe, everyone was very concerned for Americans.  We saw American Flags in Madrid, we saw American Flags in Italy, and France too.  10 years ago, it seemed as though the worse thing that had happened to the United States, had United The World.
10 Years Later we have Homeland Security, we have more intense Security with Flying, and we have a new World Trade Center being erected that will be known as The Freedom Tower.  This building is said to be the Tallest SkyScraper in America.
I will never forget the World Trade Centers- I will never forget seeing them burn on TV and I will never forget seeing those people jump to their deaths.  I will also never forget how the New York Skyline was forever changed that day and I will never forget the significance of the numbers 9-1-1.
I will always remember the victims and I will always pray for their families and the children they left behind.

Im OK With It

Since August of 2007, I have been in a season of "Friend Loss".  It has been either a loss in friendship or a loss in the life of a friend, but truly since 2007, this has been a factor.  For whatever reasons, certain friendships have been cut off, discontinued, or dissolved-however way you want to put it- and in the case of death, I truly believe that we die by appointment rather than our conditions; so for those friends who have passed on, I Bless God for their lives and their friendship, but I miss them, so it's definitely a loss to Mee.  I also find that in this process, forgiveness has been preached a lot through various vessels of God, and although I have forgiven those that have offended Mee, for whatever reason some friendships I have chosen not to renew.
That said, I come at a crossroads because as I get older, I find that with Friends, there are certain things that are taboo.  If you have friends that are Married, it's taboo to ask them how they are doing in their marriage. Never mind the friendship, its just not something to do.  If you have Single friends, it's taboo to tell another friend what those friends has done or not done to you or for you over the years.  The messenger will always get it twisted and before you know it, your initial statement is not what you said. And please don't have any questions,comments or concerns as to why they always wear shades at social gatherings, or if they are happy, or why they always are broke and they got a "man".  Gone are the days of honesty-Good Blatant Honesty.  And gone are the days when people examine themselves, their motives, their ways and actions.  And with Social Media, people do not talk anymore.  The face to face is too difficult to handle- the phone rings too loudly to pick it up-"the voicemail can get it", and furthermore, you need to mind your business, if you were their REAL friend, you would standby and watch them be hurt, beat up, talked about, cheated on, misused, or the like.
These are my thoughts as I close the end of a conversation I had with someone who is Married and my inquiry of whether or not they were still married based on my unintended observations.  Like what? I'm glad you asked- like seeing them with people other than their spouses without even an inch between them-taking advantage that you are just seeing things you don't initially inquire.  But then it's seeing things over and over again, and it soon begins to make you wonder-especially if this person is your friend and has been for years.  So here I go, trusting that I can ask my friend anything because of my concern, and they get offended- I find myself at this point of once again, examining myself, and my motives.  Since I am only coming from a place of honesty and genuine concern- I'm OK with it. If they never speak to Mee again, kool- if they realize what I pointed out and still never speak to Mee again Kool, and by Mee apologizing for the offense, if they choose to forgive Mee and not be my friend anymore, I am OK with it.
Know that, if I am your friend, I will be honest with you. And I am coming from a place of Love and Genuine Concern in being your friend.    What's the point in 2 Adults lying to each other when neither one of them has a Heaven or Hell to put you in? A lot of people can't handle the Truth, but the Bible says The Truth shall make you Free and I am OK with it.

Repeat Offender

I am not a person who says "Sorry" a lot.  I am told that this is mean and selfish to say the least.  The reason I don't say sorry a lot is because I don't say sorry if I don't mean it.  If I offend you and I didn't mean to offend you then yes, I am sorry for it and I will apologize.  However, if I feel a certain way about something and point it out to you and you disagree with how I feel and you in turn get p'd off about it, I'm not sorry for that.  Nor am I sorry for voicing my opinion about something I feel you've done that was so despicable even if it causes an argument, I am not sorry.  I am not sorry for returning the favor if you decide to curse Mee out, and I am not sorry if my reaction to your actions toward Mee, hurt you worse than your actions toward Mee- Oh Well- ............
I've been listening to Michael Jackson's Man In The Mirror-"I'm gonna make a change, for once in my life..." I feel that, I do want to make a change.
Let Mee just say this:I am sorry if you disagree with how I feel, I have a right to feel this way all I want-but I will never continue to say sorry for the very same thing over and over again.  If I keep doing that which I am ultimately sorry for, that means I am not really sorry, I meant to do it, and I am a Repeat Offender.
DON'T BE A REPEAT OFFENDER.......

SMH

With the advancement of technology comes a new language-now everything is abbreviated so that you can fit more words into a 160 character page.  I find this interesting because all of a sudden we don't have time to spell whole words anymore, and more than that, we don't have time for the basics.
There is a book out now that gives you the meaning of all the abbreviations that has formed as a result of texting to fit everything you have to say on one page.  I still don't know them all- I am very basic with it-I know now that LOL means Laugh Out Loud instead of Love of Life, and ROTFLMA/BO means Rolling On The Floor Laughing My @$$/Butt Off -WTH, or WTF means What The.........; But still I find it necessary to spell whole words and send pages and pages of texts sometimes so that I can clearly get my point across- Clear Talk Means Clear Understanding-CTMCU.  Sometimes I just want to read and not have to interpret as I read.  It becomes frustrating to say the least.
There is absolutely nothing I can do about this!!! It seems my argument is moot- Technology is still moving forward and I had better catch up! We got iPhones, Android Phones, and Smart Phones-are they one in the same? and I know they are all different but, it's all a bit much.
Everytime I go to a store to see the latest I say WTH? R U Serious?this can't be Ri8, this phone does That too- you can even deposit your check through your phone- my question to the bank: Is this safe? What's the downside of this? I can't see taking a picture of my check for deposit- what if I lose the phone?  Is my information safe? what if when the bank receives the picture, it's blurry- or a number is cut off- it just aint Ri8.  Even Ri8 is wrong because if you pronounce it Right, you get Ri-8.
Im just going on, nothing I can do about it- in a minute we will all be SOH, BCUZ, the End Is Near........
WTF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Little Red Devil.................

One of the greatest lessons in life is that "Life and Death is in the power of the tongue".  Sometimes mere words can really do damage to a persons spirit on the inside.  On the outside they may appear unscathed at the degrading comment, they may even laugh at it.  But almost always, if the person has any feelings at all toward the person saying the damaging words, those very words hurt to the core.  Even "Sorry" sometimes just isn't enough- as- the words before sunk in a lot deeper than the surface "I'm sorry".

Words might even make a person harm themselves if they felt that the hurtful words coming from the person they care about had any truth.  Even if the words didn't have any truth- the fact that they come out of the mouth of the person they care about or love, the pain can be severe or even detrimental.

I have had this very thing happen to Mee.  Harmful words spit out of the mouth of someone I cared about and loved.  The words hurt Mee to my very core.  The words, said more than once hurt so bad, and because I had heard them more than once- I began to believe that those words were true.  

The struggle of everyday life is enough without having to defend who I am as a person.  Life is way too short even to waste time "giving as good as I get".  I mean it too- I can go head to head with the best of them- you call Mee a "Skank", I call you a "Slut", You say "I hate you", I say "I hate you too", You say "I'm leaving You", I say "I'm Gone Already".  It's a never ending cycle!!! But someone has got to be the bigger person- someone has got to take the high road, Someone has got to take a step forward as opposed to revisiting an issue that is obviously dead, or arguing about something that you know will never change.

The Bible says "We are snared by the words out of our mouths"- The tongue is the detriment of all human existence!!!!

So yes, my great lesson is still- "Life and Death is in the power of the tongue". "Sticks and stones break bones, and Words Kill".  More importantly though, "I am who and what GOD says I am so what ever you say, has no power over Mee".  

What ever we give power to will have power over us- so I command all that filthy tongue, the Little Red Devil to be subjected to the Power of God and  Holy Spirit within Mee; so say whatever you're going to say- it won't kill Mee, just make Mee better..................

A Higher Degree of Understanding......................

One day I asked my father, "Daddy, what's the meaning of LOVE?" My father replied in his typical philosophical way; "Well Baby, (he began), God is Love, God is the highest level of anything, the creator of all things,for without God, we cannot understand the concept of Love- therefore, Love is a higher degree of Understanding- rather OVER-standing because God is never under anything."
I took this explanation and I began to look at my various relationships with people and ask myself- do I really and truly have it? Do I Love? Do I Love with God over all I do, see, and comprehend?
In dealing with people in everyday situations and circumstances, I find that when people don't take the time out to understand mee if we are in "relationship" with each other, I tend to feel that if the particular person doesn't understand mee- they don't understand my point of view, they don't understand where I am coming from- the reason is because there is a certain lack of love for mee. If they love mee, then they will at least take the time out to understand Mee.  At the same time, I too, if I love them, must take the time out to understand them. 
In life we will not always agree- we will not always be on the same page.  Opinions vary from person to person and change with each situation based on a particular circumstance.  It always seems like that when you are faced with opposing points of view that both parties at least agree on one thing- "it's either MY way, or the highway" - which to Mee is wrong.
I just believe my father- Love is indeed a higher degree of understanding yes!  In order to understand someone who opposes you, you have to view them with a certain amount of Love to even listen to the opposition. We have to use God-OVER our own understanding.   However, I believe that the act of Love in attempting to understand that which we find difficulty in understanding is a concept I believe we all should grasp..............COMPROMISE